I’m More Hilux Than Ferrari… and That’s Okay

Back in the day, I was seriously dedicated to the gym.

Then I fell in love with a gorgeous man and, somewhere between the wine, the cheese and thoroughly enjoying his company, I lost a little of that focus.

And honestly? I don’t regret it.

Life is meant to be enjoyed. I’m still completely in love with that gorgeous man, and I remain firmly committed to the occasional wine and cheese situation. But over time, I realised I also missed feeling strong.

I missed feeling comfortable in my clothes.

I missed having energy.

More than anything, I missed feeling good in myself.

So, I went back to the gym.

Not because I suddenly hated my body. Not because I needed to punish myself for enjoying life, and definitely not because I had plans to transform into a fitness influencer with matching activewear and a green smoothie permanently attached to my hand.

I went back because I wanted to feel like me again.

Strong Looks Different on Everyone

When I first wrote about this, I had a nine-month-old baby, I was perpetually tired, and I was attempting to train around five times a week.

In hindsight, perhaps “attempting to function” was enough of a workout some days.

I knew I needed to move my body, but I also knew I needed to fuel it properly. There was no point slogging it out at the gym while running on caffeine, broken sleep and whatever food I could eat one-handed.

It wasn’t about becoming the fastest, leanest or fittest person in the room. It was about rebuilding my strength and looking after a body that was carrying me through a very full season of life.

As I used to tell my boxing coach:

I’m more Hilux than Ferrari.

I’ll probably never be particularly fast. I’m not especially sleek. There’s no lightning-quick acceleration happening here.

But I am strong.

I can keep going.

I’m reliable under pressure, and strong takes every bit as much effort as fast.

For a long time, I think many of us have been sold a very narrow picture of what being “fit” is supposed to look like. But fitness doesn’t have to mean running marathons, having visible abs or spending your Sunday afternoon preparing 14 identical containers of chicken and broccoli.

Sometimes fitness simply means having enough energy to participate in your own life.

Moving From Punishment to Self-Respect

There’s a very different feeling between exercising because you’re angry with your body and exercising because you want to care for it.

One says:

You’re not good enough, so you need to fix yourself.

The other says:

You deserve to feel strong, capable and well.

That shift matters.

When exercise becomes punishment, every missed session feels like failure. One indulgent meal becomes evidence that you’ve “fallen off the wagon,” and suddenly you’re promising yourself that everything will change again on Monday.

But when movement is an act of self-respect, there is no wagon.

There’s simply real life.

Some weeks you train five times. Other weeks, you’re lucky to make it twice. Sometimes you feel powerful; sometimes you turn up tired and do what you can. The win is no longer perfection—it’s continuing to come back.

Consistency Isn’t the Same as Perfection

I’m naturally someone who likes to go all in.

If I’m doing something, I want to do it properly. But that mindset can become an excuse in disguise. If I can’t do the perfect workout, follow the perfect eating plan or maintain the perfect routine, it can feel easier not to begin at all.

Real consistency is much less glamorous.

It’s turning up when you can.

It’s doing 30 minutes instead of skipping the whole session because you don’t have an hour.

It’s making a nourishing choice without declaring that carbs are now your mortal enemy.

It’s enjoying dinner and wine with someone you love without mentally calculating how many burpees you’ll need to do in the morning.

It’s recognising that one choice doesn’t undo all the others.

The healthiest routine is the one that can exist alongside your actual life, not the imaginary life where you have endless time, uninterrupted sleep and nobody else needing anything from you.

Making Room for Both

Balance is one of those words that gets thrown around as though we’re supposed to achieve it once and remain perfectly balanced forever.

That isn’t how life works.

Balance shifts.

There are seasons when family needs more of you. Seasons when work takes over. Seasons when rest is the most productive thing you can do, and seasons when you need to make yourself a priority again.

The important thing is noticing when you’ve disappeared from your own list.

Going back to the gym wasn’t about returning to the person I had been before falling in love, having a baby or building a full life. I wasn’t trying to rewind everything and recover an old version of myself.

I was making space for a new version; one who could love her family, enjoy her life and still choose herself.

Find Your Version of Strong

Your version of feeling good may have nothing to do with a gym.

It could be walking, swimming, dancing, Pilates, boxing or lifting heavy things and putting them down again. It might mean sleeping more, eating something before 2:00 pm or taking ten quiet minutes before the rest of the house wakes up.

It doesn’t need to look impressive to anybody else.

It just needs to make you feel more like yourself.

I’m still more Hilux than Ferrari… and I’ve made peace with that. I’m not chasing fast or flawless. I want strong, sustainable and genuinely enjoyable.

Preferably with a little wine and cheese included.

Because looking after yourself shouldn’t require giving up everything that makes your life worth enjoying.

Sometimes, it’s simply about making sure you’re included in that life too.